I nearly didn't enter this on the grounds that I could not possibly have as good a time as I did in 2018 - wow 4 years ago. The route is very varied and lovely- except perhaps the lanes across the Vale of York. I would have no time to recee this year as we were off skiing so I just hoped I could remember the way and that skiing rather than running for almost 3 weeks would not be showing a lack of respect to the event but instead would make a good taper. I felt the pressure was off as I knew I would not beat Anna, Elaine or Lisa and possibly others that I did not know. My goals were to complete and if possible to get close to my time from 2018. Ha ha- well you have to have goals! Writing this post is going to hurt but if I only write up the races that go well it is hardly an honest blog.
Registration On Friday evening went smoothly and I met up with many friends. My biggest stress now was the weather forecast..... at home in the lowlands of Preston it was chilly but dry, no snow etc. MWIS forecast very cold, frozen ground and that would be on top of whatever snow remained. I opted to carry micro spikes and was even able to lend a friend a pair. I got so obsessed with the weather, size of drop bag allowed etc that I didn't give proper thought to putting my poles in just in case- another mistake. I also opted for Altra boots (which in retrospect may have been a mistake), dry socks (which for me never are) and my heavy duty waterproof. A cosy night in the van just outside St Bees meant I slept quite well and the later start this year meant there was no great hurry in the morning. It was a shame to lose 90 mins of daylight but it couldn't be helped due to the bigger entry for both races and the busing. I had a new sack/race vest too. I had tried it out but not perhaps as much as I should have.
 |
| Excited for the adventure ahead |
On Saturday morning we went back to the school to leave drop bags, have a final briefing and also to walk down to the start together. On the beach we collected our pebbles and dipped our feet in the Irish Sea as Wainwright suggests.
 |
| Collecting pebbles and dipping feet |
It was cool but not cold. I tried to start cautiously but as always you get pulled along. Elaine was up ahead and I had a chat with Matt and even Eoin (that alone should have warned me that I was going too fast). We share a love of Aldi bounty bars- and there the similarity ends! A bigger field this year meant there was very little chance of getting lost at least in the first 20 miles or so! We had a small detour this year as Dent Fell was OoB - slightly longer but less climb so overall not much in it.
 |
| Ennerdale |
Dropping into Ennerdale I slowed for a quick chat with some friends on the Lakes Traverse. Not long after this it became obvious that the threatened forecast and my interpretation of it did not match reality. It was warm! I was running on my own for most of this bit even though there were more people about but that was fine. The path along side Ennerdale water is never easy but was more interesting than the forest road that leads to Black Sail hut. There was a queue for water here so I left and filled up from a stream instead. I hope this was not the cause of problem1. From Honister I felt I was running well- perhaps too well. A small error meant an annoying double back but it was not long before I reached Rosthwaite and out first CP. I ate but not enough. Leaving here I started to feel less than great- tired, heavy legs etc and then the pains in my lower abdomen began. I pushed on up towards Lining Crag but was frustrated at my speed. The descent to Easedale was not much better but there were more people around now which helped keep me going. Sabs and Ben had come out to spectate but this didn't boost me much and my climb up Great Tongue to Grisedale Tarn seemed really slow with several others overtaking or pulling away.
 |
| Beautiful in the moonlight |
I arrived in Patterdale in discomfort and unable to eat. The bowl of chips took forever to go down. In the end I tried stretching out on the sofa with a hot water bottle on my tummy. This must be the only race I have ever done where there was no coke or fizzy drink- one good belch or fart and I might have been OK? The CP was far too small/over crowded and it was impossible to use your drop bag properly. Despite the lack of snow so far I was a little concerned about what it might be like over Kidsty Pike. I left the CP alone but it was not long before I grouped up with Sophie and Jackie- they were good company and the pace was reasonable. Sharing the nav is always a bonus and especially in the dark. There was some frozen ground as we climbed the Knott but it was easily avoided. The ankle deep snow on Kidsty had been compacted and was fine. The descent was so much better than last time when we had rain. This time I was prepared for the path along the side of Haweswater and knew that it would be a roller coaster and go on for ages. The section from there to Shap passed without issues and we were soon on the A6 and spotting the event flags at the village hall. The 3 of us wanted a rest and food. Despite it being the finish of the Lakes Traverse there seemed to be plenty of space and we got served quickly. It is a fairly gentle start from Shap crossing tracks and fields to the M6 and then over to the lovely limestone grasslands of Oddendale. We did make one slight nav error but were soon back on track and heading to the memorial cross above Orton. This was a new route this year and although it has more climb it is nicer than the old way. The moors were quite dry and we made good time to Smardale Bridge despite missing the way through the wall. Not far now to Kirkby Stephen and more rest and food. Julie was on duty here and as I didn't fancy the cawl without lamb I opted for two fried eggs. Pavel had stopped and retired and as it was day time nobody seemed to want to sleep. On on and up to 9 Standards. I knew the way here and was pleased to find the 'underwater bridge' was crossable. We made it to the top with dryish feet although I knew this would not last.
 |
| Still trying to stride out |
There is not really anything to be done about the next section except accepting you will get wet feet repeatedly. I picked the best line I could all the way to the farm at Ravenseat.
 |
| Race drone buzzing us |
After this we found some new flagstones had been laid- a bonus for the path and also it made the nav easy. Crackpot Hall appeared and I knew to be careful here as previously I had dropped to the river. I had not spotted a 'new' route on the GPX and so we took the old line up to the lead mines with tiny precipitous path, landslip and broken stile! Mark did the same. The lead mines always look interesting but there was no time to explore today. It was around here that I first started to seriously struggle on the ups. The pain under the left front of my ribs was making me hunch and this was beginning to make my back ache. A gap opened up on the climbs but I was able to get back in contact on the flat and downs as we passed the next mines at Gunnerside and then found the big track to Surrender Bridge. After a quick loo stop in Reeth and we were soon at the cycle centre and topping up water. The gaps were getting wider and I was grateful for the company of Jonathon as we neared Richmond. The path in the Applegarth area seemed to go on forever and was not how I remembered it. Luckily I could remember the way to through Richmond and to the CP. It was dark and I was tired. My feet were also very macerated and sore. Having washed them I lay down by a radiator only to wake when the heating had turned off. It was slightly surreal as I awoke to firemen dragging in tents- it had been windy enough to collapse two of the sleep tents and send another up a telegraph pole. The medic didn't seem keen to sort our feet and in fact was quite rude to all three of us- perhaps his sleep had been disturbed too. We ate and got sorted to leave. I could have done with more sleep and my back was aching badly now. The section across the Vale of York is not my favourite but I had told myself to be grateful for some easy tarmac miles. As it was I was too tired to appreciate this and my pace dropped dreadfully as my back hurt and I kept wanting to sit and rest.
 |
| Mark and Jackie on the windy NYMoors |
We were still together and saw Mark briefly before he got second wind. The field paths after Danby Wiske were horribly muddy but we trudged on. I have bad memories of the services at the A19 as their coffee made me sick last time so I opted to plod on knowing the others would likely catch me up. The services are now modern and had a great array of food- I should have stopped! A hot pie would have been welcome. Again I was slower on the ups and the others pulled ahead for a while and then I was alone over Live Moor and Carlton Bank. No worries, I knew the Cleveland way bit from Hardmoors races and was looking forward to a brew at Lord Stones cafe.
 |
| Descending to Lord Stones |
No need to wait for it to open this year and I arrived only shortly behind the others. The brew was good but it was time to get going again.
 |
| Hunched! |
The others now pulled away as we climbed all the lumps to Clay Bank even though I knew to take the easier race line rather then and steps on the descents. From the road crossing I was on my own- up past Round Hill and towards Blowith Crossing to pick up the old rail track. I knew this would go on and on but had underestimated just how much! I had several stops and my back was now complaining badly. Why hadn't I put poles in my drop bag? Eventually the building just off the path appeared showing me where to leave the track and climb Blakey Moor to the Lion Inn. The others were already in the little dome tent and sorting gear from drop bags. We stripped off socks and shoes to dry our feet only to find we needed to move to a very draughty gazebo tent for food. The wind here was fierce and I felt sorry for the marshalls. Larissa dressed my feet in the back of one of the vans as the first aid tent had been taken down to save it! The food here was not great- just as I really needed a rest and good feed. Sorting my feet, torches and food distracted me from my back and it must have eased a little with the rest. This was my BIG mistake. I should have opted to sleep here regardless of what others were doing etc. I am not sure what had happened to the sleep tents but do not remember seeing them. We set off along the road verge with the gale on our backs. Before a few hundred metres I knew I was struggling. I should have turned back then but somehow seemed to decide to push on, to stay with the girls etc.
 |
| Shooting track to Gaisdale Rigg |
I was locked bent double with the right side of my back stiff, sore and swollen whilst the left side seemed to collapse under any pressure. I tried their poles but it didn't really help as Jackie's were far too short- perhaps too little too late. Pain killers were not working and I just couldn't control my lurching gait. By Glaisdale Rigg this was awful. The girls refused to leave me until we hit the tarmac at the end of the Rigg. I owe them so much for their kindness and care and just wish I could have finished with them.
 |
| Team of 3 was not to last |
Here I sat and phoned HQ and Bob explaining that I was going to go slowly and try to find the toilets in the village. There aren't any- the map is wrong. After a big circuit of the village I ended up back at the top end in the wind and the rain. I was now struggling to move on level tarmac. If only I could find somewhere to shelter for a while. I should have carried on slowly to the station as I believe there are toilets there. Instead I rang Bob and told him to come and get me. At least I got one thing right- my kit was enough to keep me warm and dry even when I was sat still- I was chilly but not in danger. I also texted both sons so they knew what was going on. In the time all this took me I could have been at the station but that's sleep deprivation for you. Resting in the van would have seen me disqualified and I didn't really want to rest for 5 hours and then grind out the last 20 miles. (although now perhaps I wish I had)
It looks so close on the map but although my legs and feet were willing my back was not going to let me complete this. I have spent hours considering what I might have done differently and was obviously terribly disappointed to get so close. I should have packed poles? I should have run more with my new race vest? I should have stopped to sleep at the Lion Inn? I should have pushed on through the villages until I found a toilet to rest in (I know the ones at Grosmont exist). I had hoped to complete in roughly the same time as 2018 and even if I missed that I had hoped to finish not many hours outside this. I don't think I had really considered not getting there.
 |
| Rory on the final coast path- he had a storming run |
Time to move on and stop all the self pity. So many people have said I am amazing, awesome and other kind adjectives- I feel a failure and a fraud, a broken machine not a machine. I took myself for a long walk with a bit of downhill jogging on Bowland. I sat and cried for a bit where nobody was about. A dnf felt like I was grieving and no matter how much I told myself to get over it, that it was only a race and that people were suffering from far worse it took me over a week to come to terms with it. Today I went for a fast flat local run- legs were fine and back was OK until I came home and sat. I cannot keep moving 24/7 though. Now I need to try to rebuild, sort my back and torso muscles out (I did eventually get a physio appointment) and get ready for the next adventure- the Fellsman ( I binned all thoughts of doing the Calderdale Hike). I also need to consider whether to enter the NT again next year... or let it beat me.
